


pillow talk for the ambitious man

by violencetomyfeelings



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Canon Era, M/M, Men at Baffling Odds With Their Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21758785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violencetomyfeelings/pseuds/violencetomyfeelings
Summary: It's a love square, sort of.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/George Washington, Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/George Washington
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	pillow talk for the ambitious man

Hamilton seldom spends the night in his bed, but he does sometimes linger for conversation- never quite personal, of course not, but there are nevertheless things they prefer to speak of in privacy.

His lip is bitten red and lovely, his hair falling over his shoulders as he speaks. 'Lucky Lafayette is so smitten with you. I wonder if he might convince the french court...'

Washington says nothing, frowning slightly at the thought of the Frenchman's forward behavior. He hasn't the slightest idea how to deal with it.

Hamilton correctly interprets his silence and quirks a brow in that unmannerred way of his that ought to offend but instead charms. 'You absolutely must court him, sir. The potential connection is too valuable.'

At that he frowns properly. 'Don't be so crude,' he chides, but he sees the sense in what he's saying. 'His friendship is welcome, of course.'

'I wasn't suggesting more than that, sir,' Hamilton corrects him hastily, looking a little put out. 'I merely perceived that his enthusiasm might be difficult for you-'

It's Washington's turn to raise a brow as his boy talks himself deeper into his corner.

Hamilton silences himself, flushed pink.

'Speaking of connections to be courted,' he begins, 'perhaps there is one for you as well.'

Hamilton blinks in surprise. 'Sir?'

Hamilton has many talents, but he has not the kind of subtle sensitivity that would lend itself to such an assignment, unless it were simply a matter of seduction. And yet, Washington has had the occasion to meet Henry Laurens's son, and he thinks this might just work.

'John Laurens will join us soon,' is all he says. It is all he needs to say, except perhaps, 'tread carefully.'

Hamilton nods in agreement, relaxing once more.

***

'I see you've been working your charms on young Laurens.'

Hamilton flushes slightly. 'Do you think it's working?'

'He seems suitably besotted. As do you.'

His flush deepens and he licks his lips. Washington regards him with interest. 'Not an act, I take it? Well then, this is interesting. Should I be concerned?'

Hamilton stands somewhat abruptly and takes a breath, before saying impulsively what has been lurking on the edges of his mind for weeks. 'Maybe. If Laurens and I were to become lovers... I would not like to be dishonest with him.' He feels shy, suddenly, vulnerable. He doesn't like the feeling.

'Well you're not telling him about us, I trust,' Washington warns him sharply. 

'I'm not so foolish,' he almost snaps. 'Sir.'

Washington raises a brow. '...but if you wish we could end our liaisons for the time being.'

Hamilton is still for a moment, wading through the anxious mix of disappointment and relief to focus on his ends. 'I suppose that would be for the best, sir,' his reply is faintly hoarse and he doesn't quite meet his commander's eyes. 'After all, relations with Laurens might be important to the cause, while we...'

'...are simply an indulgence,' Washington finishes. 'I have better uses for you than warming my bed. This will of course have no impact on our professional relationship.'

Hamilton straightens, 'Of course.' 

'And Hamilton...' Washington pauses, considering. 'In the light of Laurens' importance, I urge you to tread carefully. A love affair gone wrong would be far worse than a lukewarm friendship. Don't let lust or, as the case may be, tender feelings, get in the way of your duty.'

Hamilton's eyes are burning. 'I won't, sir.'

***

It's deathly cold out, but huddled round the hearth with whisky and smoke there's warmth to be had. Lafayette has been plying him with drink all evening. Hamilton is suspicious, but Lafayette is so warm it's difficult to be cynical. After the others have left for bed and he makes to get up as well but Lafayette tugs him back down to him. Hamilton collapses into the heat for a moment before pushing him away to say, slurring slightly, 'Laf, my dearest, my man. I would like nothing more than to... love you a la francoise,' he giggles a little. Embarrassed, he stops. 'But alas... cupid hath struck me to another.' He's managing a reasonable degree of eloquence, he hopes. He focuses on Lafayette's face. It's smiling. It has lovely dimples.

'Yes, cupid hath struck you indeed,' Lafayette laughs, and then switches to french to say in a low voice, 'that's what I wish to speak of, actually.'

Hamilton frowns, mind trying to work through the fog. Laurens. Secrecy. 'What do you mean?'

Lafayette seems to hesitate before whispering 'The General. The two of you were intimate, were you not? Are you still?'

Hamilton freezes. 'I don't know of what you speak, sir-' 

He makes to get up again, but again Laf tugs him down, now alarmed, whispering furiously 'no, no, I said that too bluntly, I will guard your secrets, but I thought you and the General, but now with you and Laurens, I was curious-'

'How do you know that?' Hamilton asks him, panicked. 'Who else does? Shit.'

'No one knows! I. May have spied on you a little. Well, the General. You and Laurens were more obvious. Others might have guessed that. It wasn't malicious! I did not intend to spy on you. I'm so sorry,' Lafayette rambles at great speed in his native language, embarrassed. Hamilton tries to parse the information. It's difficult in his state. Lafayette, having stopped, is staring at the floor miserably. 'I'm so sorry,' he repeats.

'...what exactly do you mean by spying on the General? What did you see?'

'The two of you embracing,' he answers shiftily. 'But now you seem to be in love with another, and I wondered... what is the nature of this arrangement?'

'Whatever it is, it's not happening,' Hamilton says finally. 'It's not important. We have a professional relationship that supersedes all else.'

Lafayette cocks his head, considers him. 'I think you care more than you say. But this is good for me, I suppose.' He looks away again before interrupting Hamilton's fledgling protest to admit, 'I had entertained... certain fancies of my own for our dear General. Perhaps you could advise me.'

Hamilton blinks. The night was taking him to unexpected places, but it made sense. It's not as if he hadn't noticed Lafayette's moony looks. No one could. But he's wary. 'I'm not sure that would be wise.'

'I'm not sure I care. Do you think he wants me? That he could want me?' He looks at Hamilton with puppydog eyes and Hamilton is helpless. 

'Maybe. I- I don't know.' He pauses to think before repeating, 'I'm not sure it's wise for you to-'

Lafayette ignores that. 'Are you sure? He seemed to rebuff me.'

'Probably to protect you. He's an honorable man.'

'Yet he had you.' Was that jealousy, Hamilton wonders. There's something absurd about this.

'I'm not like you though, you're... pure,' it sounds so stupid that he giggles, following the thought 'like a maiden. Fair Maiden of La Fayette'

Lafayette brow creases up with bafflement. 'I am not a maiden. And what does that make you?'

'A wh-' he stops himself. 'A scoundrel and a tomcat, hadn't you heard? Is there any more of that whisky?' 

Lafayette holds up the bottle, relaxing again at his joking tone. 'Tragically we seem to have finished it. But you have had enough, I think.'

Hamilton makes a disappointed noise and snuggles into Lafayette's side instead. His crush was a problem, probably, but not one he intends to solve tonight. Right now his friend is warm and it's late. Perhaps they should sleep here, he thinks idly. He wouldn't want to move.

'I have fathered children you know. I had a mistress. I'm hardly pure.' 

Hamilton shrugs into his side. 'Yes, but... you're you. You're a puppy.'

'First I am a maiden, now I am a puppy. Getting you drunk was a mistake,' he grumbles. 'If I showed the general I was not innocent, would he want me then?'

'I don't think that's a good idea,' Hamilton answers sleepily. But Lafayette does not let him doze off, asking, 'Would you help me, Hammie? If he were to think that you and I-'

Hamilton starts to laugh again at the suggestion. 'You claimed you were not going to proposition me.'

'I'm not!' Lafayette protests and pouts, and it's cute, and Hamilton thinks about playing Lafayette's absurd game. It would not be unpleasant... 'Not that I would object to that,' he adds thoughtfully, 'but we need only pretend, and let him reach his own conclusions.'

He's stares at Lafayette with a welling fondness. It's exceedingly difficult to say no to him, and at this moment he struggles to remember why he should. So he leans into him again, so close he can smell his perfume, and kisses him clumsily. Lafayette smiles delightedly and kisses back with typical enthusiasm. 

***---***

The fire crackles, and he feels old, so old.

'I used to be afraid of you,' Hamilton says softly into the fire, and then seats himself by Washington's side, close, familiar.

Washington looks at him, an unexpected squeezing in his chest.

'Were you really?'

Hamilton shrugs. 'I thought you knew.'

'I suppose I did in a way.' The boy had had had good reason too, he thinks to himself with a tinge of sadness. He has mellowed with age. But back then- back then ruthlessness ruled the day. Hamilton had to fear he would be used and discarded, as his usefulness waxed and waned. And wasn't he right to? Washington would have sacrificed him.

Hamilton was a soldier. He had no right to expect anything else.

He places a gentle hand on Hamilton's thigh and squeezes. He doesn't know quite how to make up for lost time, to show him the true affection now that he could not have held for him then, and he only thinks, but isn't sure, that Hamilton would welcome it. But Hamilton sighs and smiles gently, and Washington knows he is forgiven.

He blinks back a a tear when Hamilton presses into his side, resting his head on his shoulder and placing his own hand over Washington's. They sit like that, in a comfortable silence, warmed by the fire.

'I was afraid of you too,' he admits finally, surprising himself.

Hamilton lifts his head, and stares at him in confusion. 'What do you mean?'

He meets the young man's gaze steadily. 'I was afraid of loving you, and losing you.'

Hamilton's lips are parted in surprise, his gaze a whirlpool. He holds it for a minute before resting his head back on Washington's shoulder, silent for once, the meaning of his action enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Rediscovering and clearing out a WIP! This might have once been part of a larger story, but I liked these four little scenes enough to post as is, especially the Lafayette one.


End file.
